My little black diet book

I guess I am a little competative. So I am trying to lose weight and I know of two of my friends who are also wanting to lose weight. Well, I just can’t have them lose more weight then me. It just doesn’t work that way. I am going to lose it before one of them especially. Lets just say it is because we look like sisters and I want to be the thin one. She has always been and she has a smaller frame then me. I know that she is competing with me because she asked me how much I lost. Then when we went out to dinner she asked what I was going to eat and then got almost the same thing. Now normally I wouldn’t care, but damn it! I just can’t let this one go. I have liked the guys looking at me. I don’t want to go to Vegas and have her say they were only looking at her. Now I am a larger girl and I won’t go saying that every guy is going to look at me but I will say this. By the time Vegas comes I will have lost another 20 pounds come hell or high water. Nothing is going to stop me. I mean NOTHING!  It feels good to be motivated

I must say the diet has been ok. I haven’t eaten the best food however I have started to exercise so it is helping. Going out on a couple of dates has helped as well. Must say I have been busy, never realized how busy my life could be. Well toddles!

This weekend wasn’t bad. I had lots of BBQ chicken. That was yummy. I didn’t get in any exercise but I am planning today. I woke up late so I didn’t have enough time to exercise, I will have to buckle down and do it tonight. Period. No excuses. I went dress shopping yesterday. Even though I have lost more then 20 lbs I still couldn’t find a dress and the twigs found several. Talk about a disappointment. I will not give up. I will find a dress and it will be a smaller size.

Yeah, my pants they burned me big time. So I was just sitting here getting ready to give you an update on my weekend progress. When I was sitting on the floor and stretching for my bouncy ball. My pants that had a little whole in the seem decided to give out on me. No it wasn’t because my butt grew, but because I was kneeling on the cloth of my pants and they apperiently didn’t like that.  So now I really know I need to get back on the diet. That was a sign from above or I should say below! I am down to 3 pairs of pants for work and one are falling off. I guess I will be buying pants sooner then later. 

This weekend I went out of town with some friends. At first I was way excited because I was going to spend some time away from work and the city and just relax. Well, then I started thinking. Man I am the only one on a diet. Mind you we usually have snack cakes and potato chips to snack on and for meals when we are down there. Scary!!! I did very well down there. I didn’t have one snack cake! I had a few potato chips. It was that or starve and well I needed something so my body wouldn’t think I was never going to eat again.  I did have a slice of B-day cake and some ice cream but I resisted the seconds.

Tonight I cheated. I had the dreaded McDonald’s.  However, I only had one cheese burger and some med fries. Normally I would ask for 2 cheeseburgers and large fries. I skipped the reg coke and went for the diet pepsi. So there went my 20% naughty for the week. Now I have to work on the 80% healthy. We will see how it goes. It is nice seeing more day light. Oh and my friends that promised to play bad mitton this weekend did not work out. Stupid wind and stupid people who don’t know how to arrive somewhere on time!!

Yesterday was a good food day for me. I have been sticking very closely to my food routine. Occassionally, I will replace my cereal for a Smart Ones turkey TV dinner.  What can I say, not to big on the breakfast food.  I am Down to 214lbs from 237. Tomorrow morning I think I will do the measurements. I am every excited to say that others have noticed the weightloss as well. I am sure I will be able to go down in a dress size very soon. That will make me happy. I am shooting for a new dress size when I get down to 205lbs. The other day I was going to go shopping for new clothes but was bloated and decided for my sanity I would not do it. I am not big on shopping for clothes because I can never find anything in my size that I feel flatters my body. Problem is my body not the clothes. I have a huge white girls flat butt. So I do the squats when my knees don’t hurt to try and get it a little more shapely. I guess we will have to see. I am almost over the allergies. I hope this was the big attack of the season and I will be fine the rest of the spring summer and fall! Also I know I need to get back to doing the stairs at work. I was taking them down and then back once and then the elevator every other. I had a dream last night that the big boss yelled at me for not taking the stairs.  Creepy if you ask me!

Now a message from my fortune cookie: You will never regret the present, you live life to its fullest!

For a while I stopped blogging. I wasn’t feeling like going on line at writting that I have had no success or very little success. However, I found when I blog it keeps me honest. I don’t want to look back at the blogs and see how whinny I have been. It is depressing and no one wants to here you whin. It is a fact. It simply has to be.  So I am back to a very predictable diet.  Honey Nut Chex for breakfast, small snack mid morning/day (right now an Uncrustable or a small yogart), then Tuna sandwich and two pickle spears for lunch, then dinner will consist of tuna or chicken. If I am still hungry later I will have a bottle of water and fix a small snack like the individual sized popcorn.  Sounds kind of boring I know. However for me it works.  After this box of cereal I may go back to oatmeal for a little while. You never know. Lets just hope the portion sizes work. Then when I am over this horrid cold/allergy attack I can start exercising again.

Speaking of exercising, this spring I had planned with my friends to go out and play a new sport or do something that requires physical activity and being outside every other Sunday. We have all been trying to loose weight.  Well I asked if on the next Sunday that it is nice out if they wanted to go do something, get started. The responce I got was ‘maybe if I am awake’. I asked are you going to sleep past 3pm?  ‘Maybe’  which means that no she is not going to want to do anything with me this spring/summer. Which is fine by me if she wants to stay inside all summer with the blinds drawn playing the sims2. Personally I don’t want that to be me. I don’t want to sit around all spring/summer and be couped up inside getting fatter and fitter. I just get so frustrated because they agree to do these things with me and I get excited because we have all been lazy the last few summers, ok most of my life. However, now I want to fit in the bathing suit and go swimming. I wanna go to the golf course and try the driving range, not play the video game. I wanna try tennis. I want to throw a football around. I want to throw a frisbe. I want to play volley ball and badmitten.  Honestly, I just want to get outside, enjoy the weather before I am to old to realize what I really missed out on. Sure I love watching movies and kicking it on the sofa. There is not doubt in my mind that I will still do that in the summer. I just want to add some variety. You know I think she is scared of what people will think, and she has alway had that hard exterior when she is out in public, I just wish she could put on her call cool collected self and go out and have some fun.  I guess what it comes down to is I need to meet people who want to do the things I want to do. Maybe I am just being selfish. I don’t care. It is my turn. I bend for everyone else. Why can’t they just follow through with their agreement. Wow!! So sorry this turned into a rant but I feel much better. Now maybe I can have a good day!

Ahhhhh, the power of PIZZA!!!!!! It smells sooooooooo goooooood. That soft chewy crust topped with a sweet yet savory sauce and melty gooey cheese. How I love the cheese!!!  Yet, I resisted the call of the pizza. That is right I made it throught the week without eating pizza. I had my tuna fish sandwich and my cereal for lunch. Talk about being a good girl. That is right, even though I am suffering through this nasty allergy attack I did not give in to my food wants.  Now, we will see what the week has to hold going forward!

It snowed this week. Again I was craving the oh no so good for you starchy carbs. I did make some homemade chili with lots, and lots of beans. First time making my own chili and it didn’t come out tasting too bad. So far this month has been almost a wash. I haven’t been in the mood to diet. Work is stressing me out. My sister moved up the “brides maid dress” shopping up from the end of may to beginning of April. So that is practically 2 months down the drain. I just have to continue watching my portion sizes and drink lots of water. Lots and lots of water.

So it has been a while. The winter weather has rolled into town again, and I find myself craving the starchy carbs. At one point I had lost 23 lbs. Now I am fighting to regain that 20 lb loss. Good thing I am only a lb away. It just sucks to see you meet a milestone, only to see you have to revisit it.  I will beat the goal again. I do plan on being down to 200 lb’s or below by May, when it is time to try on the dreaded bridesmaid dress. I know I will always be the largest girl in the group, I am just hoping to bring it down to something I am comfortable with.  Well off to finish the week with a moderate ending. I will start next week back on track. 

I have been bad again. What is with this?! Let’s talk about a major road block. I have someone that I am very interested in and spend most nights talking to him on the phone. We have been talking from 9pm to 2am most nights then I finally throw in the towel and tell him I am tired even though I don’t want to let him go.  He is very good for me in other aspects. I may lose sleep and find it hard to get up and work through out the day but I have been inspired to lose the weight again. I am almost down 20 lbs and I am struggling with this last lb. I will lose it. I just have to get back on track, which I will!!! I have already exercised once last week and I exercised again today. So the plan is to strech tonight and get up and excercise in the morning. Once I can master my cardio I can take all six flights of stairs at work. I can now do two with out being ready to pass out. I really want to build up my hearts strength.  So now that I am looking back I only sucked this week at the portion control and the healthy food.  SO this week I am already pumped because it will be warm out. I will be walking my 6 1/2 blocks to and from work daily again.  I am going to try to get back to the exercise log and the food log.