My little black diet book

I have been bad again. What is with this?! Let’s talk about a major road block. I have someone that I am very interested in and spend most nights talking to him on the phone. We have been talking from 9pm to 2am most nights then I finally throw in the towel and tell him I am tired even though I don’t want to let him go.  He is very good for me in other aspects. I may lose sleep and find it hard to get up and work through out the day but I have been inspired to lose the weight again. I am almost down 20 lbs and I am struggling with this last lb. I will lose it. I just have to get back on track, which I will!!! I have already exercised once last week and I exercised again today. So the plan is to strech tonight and get up and excercise in the morning. Once I can master my cardio I can take all six flights of stairs at work. I can now do two with out being ready to pass out. I really want to build up my hearts strength.  So now that I am looking back I only sucked this week at the portion control and the healthy food.  SO this week I am already pumped because it will be warm out. I will be walking my 6 1/2 blocks to and from work daily again.  I am going to try to get back to the exercise log and the food log.

You know it is much easier to watch portion controls when you are by yourself and broke. I have noticed I have that when I am with friends I eat more. Not cool. I have cheated all week and now that it is time to get back on track it is super hard.  Yesterday for dinner I had a cup of clam chowder, cheese sticks, and a baked potato. So what’s with all the carbs? It is cold outside and makes me crave them. Wonder why…

Yesterday I cheated. I went to chili’s. I ran out the house early because it snowed. It took me two hours to get to work which was not cool at all. Then I realized I didn’t bring lunch so I went to Chili’s for lunch and dinner. Probably not the smartest thing I have ever done, but I enjoyed it. Everyone at work was saying that it looks like I am losing the weight. SO that really gave me a boost of confidence and to keep plugging away at what I am doing.

Yesteday was a good day for me. I had my one on one review with the site manager. It was awesome. He really liked what I was doing with my team so that makes me feel good. However, we lost another manager. So I foresee the stress levels in the joint skyrocketing. Personally, I think I will be fine as long as I don’t let the other managers bring me down. My team size is going from 13 to 17. I am used to having a larger team. I came from a team of 33 and have no problem with the larger team. I actually like a larger team, that way if someone falls behind, the rest can help carry the burdon.  As for food. I did very well. It was pizza nite and I had two slices. That is amazing for me. Normally, I like to have 5 or 6 slices. I feel like I am losing weight so that makes me happy. I have checked the scale and I am down to 218.2lbs.  That makes me very happy. I made it down to 219.5 the year before last and gained it all back. This time I am not letting it come back. I am fighting it off with a stick!!! I am really looking to get under the 217lb mark. I am a bit competative and my bestfriends sister weighs 217lbs the last I talked to her. I just can’t wait to wiegh less then her. A lot of people say we look like sisters. I am wide so I will always look larger then her and wear a larger pants size due to this hips of mine, but if I can start looking better and give her some competion boys you better watch out!!!!!  Oh and the guy that I was talking to, he stopped talking to me. I jinxed myself once again. The next time I meet someone I am keeping him all to myself!

Yes I did it. I had a lot of fun and only had two drinks…Normally I am slamming back shots of jager with my sister fience. I am the only one who will drink them with him. I was very aware of my diet and what made me pack on the last 50 lbs sooooooo I drank lots of water yesterday and  took the stairs. As I always say, it’s the small things that count!

So the big day has arrived. I have had nothing but junk food all week and I will probably have more junk food today. My plan of action, portion sizes and drink lots of water. I have had way to much soda lately. I am going to have to go back to no soda at all for a month to get back on track. I had done so well giving up soda pops.  I have not weighed in for a while, I have occassionaly checked my weight. I keep going up and down on this last pound. I know if I stop getting so stressed out at work that I could start losing the weight again. That and go back to eating the fish. I said I would last week but I didn’t meet my goal. (  This week will be different. I have managed to get up early by 30 mins each day so I can now start to exercise in the morning. People were right. It is so much easier to skip exercising in the evening after you have had a long day. If I just put it first then maybe I can stick with my goal. Besides I want to go to Cobo San Lucas in the spring and that is when I am getting a dress for my sisters wedding. So with my time running out and my need to lose the weight growing stonger I guess I should get off my butt and do something during the superbowl besides just sitting on the sofa eatting chips and little Smokies.  Who’s idea was it to make those little sausages anyway. I love those things and they are so dangerous to my diet!!!!!!